When Nonsense Collides!


by Cartoonist_at_Large

Cosmos: Old School (2001) - part three

Randoms - and, to a lesser extent, Sundays - are the bread and butter of Cosmos: anyone can read them, in any order, and get their regulation serving of gag-a-day
humour without having to know the first thing about who is who, where they are, or what happened ten to fifteen strips ago. To say nothing of the fact that I can do
pretty much whatever I want without busting continuity upside the head....

ABOVE: Unwritten rules of the universe, no. 1 - wherever there is a city, model or otherwise, there will be an appropriately-scaled monster to go on a
rampage through it. Looks like poor Tony didn’t know that one.

On a related aside: in the title bar, we get our very first view of the planet Cosmos - and, because a bog-standard sphere (yes, yes, oblate spheroid; thank you,
science nerds) would be far too boring for my little green friends, their home is some sort of elongate donut, complete with hole in the middle! I’m not sure where
I got the idea from, but it certainly makes things interesting....

TOP: When good advice goes bad, it REALLY goes bad. This is one of those jokes where I’m glad I didn’t try to stick any further ‘explanation’ into the dialogue - it’s not
one of my top ten favourites, and the situation may be sliiiightly contrived, but it works nicely enough for what it’s trying to do. What’s interesting to note, though, is that in
the last panel the corner of the crate (and, therefore, the entire thickness of the crate) is somehow wedged BETWEEN the mover guy’s eyes and the front of his face!
What the huh, 2001 Jon?

BOTTOM: Another in my series of ‘defying the laws of cartoon physics’ gags, in which nothing makes sense until the fourth panel - and even then,
you still wonder if you were suffering from some weird cough medicine-flashback....

TOP: Dialogue-free and loving it! This one needed absolutely no words, and I was happy to oblige; given the obligatory unexplainable absurdity it involves. I’m a little
torn about how it turned out art-wise, though - while there’s nothing fundamentally wrong, perhaps I should have  had far less unraveled thread in the heap in that third
panel, to provide a clear contrast with the fourth. As it is, it looks as if Gene has simply snapped off the end of the thread between the two panels, rather than actually
unraveling any more; and making the lower half of his body simply vanish, rather than being obviously unraveled as well. Or am I just overthinking it?

BOTTOM: As I may have said somewhere before, Artie is the main cast’s common sense dispenser; combining good advice and a down-to-earth view of life with
philosophical musings on pretty much every driving issue of the day. This is often very necessary, given the rather oddball nature of his friends.... I’m pretty sure that the
‘someone’ that Artie is quoting there is me, given that I just made up the er, ancient proverb out of whole cloth especially for the occasion. It still makes sense, though -
thanks for sharing, Artie.

ABOVE: Serving as a comic strip-within-a-comic strip (or even TV series-within-a-comic-strip), Captain Confusion is the Cosmosian equivalent of, say, Dan Dare or
Buck Rogers; fighting intergalactic evil (namely Baron Dethblow) with the aid of his loyal allies Sgt. Smite and Mekana the Android Girl. I floated the idea in the Tony’s
Comic Utopia story I did back in 2000, then revised them a bit here - adding Mekana to the team, and changing Smite from a Type three Cosmosian to a Type four.
The gag for this strip, I imagine, came during one of those ‘random junk in my head at 4am’ moments, when out-of-left-field scenarios like this (inevitably) come along.
Plus, it allowed me to make a comic strip with eight panels, but only have to draw five!



by Cartoonist_at_Large

Cosmos: Old School (2001) - part two

Conflict (to coin an immensely poorly-constructed phrase) is the sauce that enlivens the ingredients of any good story; and the adventures of the Cosmos cast are
no exception. Interesting personality differences and comedic misalignments between the various cast members (as well as the odd bizarre event imposed from without)
propel them on their various adventures - because where would the dictates of narrative progression even go if everything went well all the time? Nowhere, basically.
A double-sized serving of Murphy’s law, please!

ABOVE: Now this is interesting - these two strips are not only the first speaking appearance of Professor pod (after a few brief cameos in 2000), but also the one and only
time the A-Team and B-Team casts ever crossed paths! Well, sort of. In a very peripheral fashion. You see, Professor pod (A-Team cast member) is falling foul of the curiosity
of one Timmy Masters; who later turned up as the best pal of one Peter Anderson, as part of the B-Team cast! These strips were originally going to be part of a longer sequence
of strips featuring the Good Professor and Timmy, but unfortunately this didn’t pan out; and (since I later recycled the gags for another, very different story, making the originals
rather redundant) they now occupy the non-canon end of the spectrum. Still, as a historical curiosity, they are of critical importance.

The next sequence of strips, by contrast, are very much in-canon, and feature the A-Team cast (Artie, Gene and co., not the human guys in the black-and-red van) in full flight.
They have a decided reputation for testing the boundaries of the fourth wall, and as such I wondered to myself: what would happen if they simply stopped following my orders?

Yep, given them an inch of free will and they unravel about a mile of blatant insubordination! Having my own characters go on strike within the very strip they appear
in put me in a bit of a bind - how to create gag-a-day material with no one there to present it? I had no choice: I had to step into the breach myself.....

And there you have it, a salient lesson in proper employer-employee relations: when all else fails, whining and complaining, blackmail and (following a hasty cover-up of
compromising documents) gratuitously-generous conciliatory gifts always smooth the way for the resumption of regular business! What’s a few million dollars in lost revenue
and the risk of having my good name dragged through the mud between friends?

And no, you can’t see the Bikini Police story.



by Cartoonist_at_Large

Cosmos: Old School (2001) - part one

Welcome to the beginning of Cosmos’ third year! Okay, let’s recap, shall we? I have a donut-shaped planet, not one but two main casts, a town called pago Grandé (still
no idea where that name came from, sorry), an assortment of locations in which to wreak comedic havoc, and some of the most creatively demented jokes I think I’ve ever
created anywhere, ever. And there was no stopping the Cosmos juggernaut, apparently: I was all ready to launch into 2001 with the same verve I did during 1999 and 2000....
and looking back on the results now in 2017, I can definitely say I succeeded. You’re in for a wild ride, Cosmos fans....

Above: speaking of recaps, I thought I’d start off with an all-new, all-colour sunday strip, hosted by my by-now-official spokesman for Cosmos, Artie Deacon. Gene and
the others do their share of in-strip commentary, but Artie has the easy-going charm and wry humour needed to talk my audience through all the explain-y bits, as shown
here. The title banner, meanwhile, has the first in-strip appearance of Professor pod’s fellow scientific enquirers - Artimus Frink and Co-plot, of Explorers Inc!

Above: Is this Type-four Cosmosian Tony Corvell or Peter Anderson? Given that the two look very similar, and they were (at this point) still relatively new characters, it is
perhaps not surprising that I would forget who was supposed to be wearing what. Playing with a jack-in-the-box does seem to suggest a kid rather than an adult, which is a
tick in the ‘Peter Anderson’ column; but Mr. Mystery is wearing what is quite clearly Tony Corvell’s backward hat with antenna, so....? Well, I don’t know.
And once again, I’ve forgotten the headphone / ear-cover things!

Above: a selection of strips showcasing one of my more favourite things to do: messing around with the ‘rules’ of comic strip speech bubbles. Once you’re on a roll with
this sort of thing, there are an almost endless variety of ideas you can come up with on the theme. Because, quite frankly, they don’t even have to make sense! The first
two are probably more successful than the second two - the dialogue in the latter is a bit clunky, and the build up to the punchlines are pretty much identical - but they all
deliver some clever jokes, which is the main thing. And in the beach strip, the speech-bubble element is actually a second layer added onto the main thrust of the joke,
that came to me in a flash of last-minute inspiration while I was drawing it! Never, ever turn down one of those eureka moments when you have them - go with your gut,
and you can make a good joke even better....



by Cartoonist_at_Large

Cosmos: Old School (2000) - part twenty-one

Time for part two of our Old-School 2000 Christmas extravaganza! The strips in both part one and two, I note, are divided (even alternating) between the exploits of the
main cast -mostly Artie and / or Gene - and various random Cosmosians. I’m not sure why I chose this patternicity  to proceeedings: I guess I just like things to have a
sense of order to them, even if it isn’t immmediately obvious (or even recognised as such) by my audience. But anyway, enough about my eccentricities....

Top: Artie Deacon, chief Christmas present wrapper for the Cosmos staff office Christmas tree - chosen partly for his attention to detail and artist-level gift-wrapping abilities,
no doubt. I’d imagine, though, that his heaps of cunningly-disguised presents are a constant lure to the curious and impatient.... in other words, consistently Gene.
Bottom: Is this where I got the idea for the novelty ‘unpoppable’ Christmas cracker that recently showed up in my current new-School Christams story? Possibly.
It’s also another sterling dialogue-free Cosmos strip..... Ahhh, I wish I still had the knack to do those properly....

Top: yes, that’s right - I invented an entire board game and developed an entire Cosmos strip around it just so I could spring an appallingly-bad pun on you at
the end. I’ve done it before, and I’m certainly going to do it again.... Deal with it.
Bottom: A bored Gene is a dangerous Gene. A bored Gene with access to sharp, pointy-ended objects? Well, that’s just asking for trouble.

Top: The hazards of writing a Christmas list are many varied - lack of item organisation, running out of ink (or terminally breaking your only pencil), the risk of asking
for too much - but this one’s a new one on me. And by the looks of things, I’m STILL forgetting to put the head phone / ear covers on my Type Four Cosmosians - perhaps
that’s why he’s covering the sides of his head in most of the panels, to hide his embarrassment....
Bottom:  Gene and electronics.... well, they have a checkered history together. Either his attempts to ‘improve’ on what technology has given him result in something
so overly-complicated and / or impractical that merely turning it on is inviting disaster to pay a visit; or - in the case of Christmas displays, as shown here - his insistence on
‘just a little more power’ causes major headaches for his friends.... and neighbours.... and Pago Grande’s major electricity suppliers.... Oh, Gene.


by Cartoonist_at_Large

Cosmos: Old School (2000) - part twenty

You know your comic strip has ‘made it’ when you’re producing a second consecutive set of Christmas strips for a second festive season, and you don’t even feel as if
you’re running out of steam. That is an eventuality I never would have even imagined when I first started Cosmos back in January of 1999; but here we are! Given that it is
(very conveniently) mid-December when I’m typing this up, I’m splitting Cosmos’ Christmas 2000 AD into a double-feature; just so we can savour the deranged
holiday humour a bit longer....

Top: A watched pot may never boil - but Gene has never been one to stand down in the face of common sense! This is another of my ‘the point of the whole strip only
becomes clear in the final panel’ situations - despite the rather obvious decorations in the background, we don’t actually know what Gene is even doing until he reveals it
to us at the end..... at which point, it all makes sense. Well, from his perspective, anyway....
Bottom: One wonders how many times this scenario played out in real life - I’m guessing quite frequently, based on the general inability of the male gender to
pick up unbelievably, mind-bogglingly obvious hints. But lady, seriously! That other guy might’ve been a fantastic kisser! Did you even give him a chance?

Top: the first appearance of what has become a bit of an annual Christmas tradition - my obligatory ‘Holiday Sale Junk Mail’ joke, based on my observation that -
as stated above - the sheer volume of junk mail one gets at this time of year is frankly.... obscene. It’s not always easy to stop this gag from becoming a one-trick pony,
but I think I’ve managed successfully so far....
Bottom: Is Gene seriously that greedy, or is he just messing with everyone’s heads? A little from column A, a little from column B, sadly.

Above: a pair of Christmas tree jokes; one trading on my experiences in the Southern Hemisphere, where Christmas comes during the summer months
(I know! Crazy!), and the second.... well, hats off to Gene for raising the bizzarro-factor of proceedings for the third strip in a row. He does have a point though:
how exactly do you properly display a Christmas tree in a comic strip panel that’s far wider than it is tall?